Michael Lohan Gives Daughter Prison Advice
July 11, 2010 | 08:02 PM PDT
Filed under: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan spent three years in the slammer for insider training, so he knows a thing or two about what his daughter is about to go through and he offers some late-in-the-game fatherly advice.
"Right now, she should be working on rectifying the situation and getting better. It's just a horrible experience. Twenty-three hours a day she'll be locked up." Aye aye aye! The reality is really setting in! Lindsay Lohan is goin' to jail y'all!
Michael goes on to defend her daughter, saying "Lindsay is not a criminal. She is a woman with a disease. She really is. She needs help. She needs medical attention."
Though Lindsay Lohan did break the law, I agree that she has a disease and must be helped. Save Lindsay!
Michael Lohan and GF Open Nightclub
June 08, 2010 | 07:03 PM PDT
Filed under: Michael Lohan, Celebrity Couples
Opening at the Annona Restaurant in the Hamptons, Michael, his drunk blonde fiance and partners promise the following perks at their swanky nightclub: a driver service for the wasted and a drug screening upon entering the club. Say what?!
Michael, knowing that the perfect place for a recovering addict, like himself and like his daughter, is a nightclub, adds: “Who knows…maybe it will become a family enterprise.”
Lindsay Lohan's Dad's Twitter Hacked. Or Is It?
April 28, 2010 | 08:07 AM PDT
Filed under: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan
- “It’s time you learned the truth. The truth about Tommy Motolla engaging in an affair with my then-17 year old daughter,”
- "NOTICE,There is an imposter on Twitter,and whoever the imposter is that posted that disgusting comment about my daughter, is now on notice…"
Yuck: Michael Lohan & Kate Major Engaged!
April 07, 2010 | 11:45 AM PDT
Filed under: Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan, Celebrity Weddings
Today, Lindsay Lohan's cuckoo for coco puffs papa, 50-year-old Michael Lohan announced his engagement to equally fame-whorish girlfriend and Jon Gosselin's ex-misstress, 27-year-old Kate Major.
Kate blabbed about future wedding bells with People Mag: "I'm ecstatic,. I'm very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it's meant to be." Michael shared his joy, spouting: " I've never met anyone who's been there for me like Kate. She's always been there for me."
I feel bad when others' happiness just makes me want to up-chuck my cheerios...
Lindsay Lohan Binge Drinks And Tweets
April 01, 2010 | 11:50 AM PDT
Filed under: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan, Celebrity Twitter
After her father's wackadoo press conference begging for help for his once-ginger superstar, @LindsayLohan jumped on Twitter to respond early, early, early this morning:
"My father just sent me this as I was leaving my gym, I told you to stop Linds.This is the last time and take down the tweet about me HURTING MOM..U will be getting a call from SOMEBODY today to end you."
Crackpot Michael Lohan tweeted back: "I never ever said that. I have it on my text (it is date and time stamped!) What is wrong with U? OOOPS! I already know.”
Mikey, maybe stop airing your family dirties and do something that will really make a difference. Lindsay isn't wearing shades because her future is so bright. She's wearing 'em because she's HELLA hungover!
Lindsay Lohan's Father Michael Arrested
January 28, 2010 | 06:06 PM PST
Filed under: Michael Lohan, Celebrity Arrests
Erin's attorney dishes that 49-year-old Michael Lohan called Erin at work on January 21st. Nassau County Police arrested the deadbeat dad and booked him for "criminal contempt."
Michael was arrested in December for exactly the same offense. Nice work! He'll be in court on February 25th to face charges...and the music...
Michael Lohan's Jump Off The Brooklyn Bridge
November 30, 2009 | 11:21 AM PST
Filed under: Michael Lohan
Someone with the Twitter-audacity to make @themichaellohan began tweeting:
- “Fiance just left me. My family hates me, I spent Thanksgiving with my mom. I just cant do any of this any more
- Heading to the Brooklyn Bridge
- Goodbye.
- @LINDSAYLOHAN LOVE YOU. BYE"
The paparazzi-starved Papa swears up and down that he wasn't involved (Twitter confirmed) but wouldn't it be easy to slip someone a $50 to make all of this up for him?! We are in a recession! Do you think Michael Lohan is really in on this suicide scare?
Michael Lohan Needs To Cough-Up The Cash
November 27, 2009 | 03:30 PM PST
Filed under: Michael Lohan
Dina Lohan, Michael Lohan Sr.’s ex-wife and mother of hawt mess, Lindsay Lohan, says that the dead beat pops has owes around $15,000 for their three minor children, Aliana, Michael Jr. and Dakota Lohan. Hey sus! Those crazies had that many kiddies? That’s terrifying!
| total # of votes: | 0 | |
|---|---|---|
| Agreeability w/ majority: | 0% | |
| Your rank: | none | |
| Total number of points: | 0 pts | |
| Points redeemable for swag: | 0 pts |
| 1 | aprildawn |
229,510 pts |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Zies |
226,435 pts |
| 3 | bigBootyJenJen |
224,765 pts |
| 4 | Jenydew |
194,190 pts |
| 5 | timelord |
172,800 pts |
| 6 | LaVane |
147,070 pts |
| 7 | RDL18 |
122,710 pts |
| 8 | Twizter |
119,465 pts |
| 9 | TheMouse |
117,725 pts |
| 10 | markb |
116,060 pts |